it don't matter if it's black or white

one thing i've been learning a lot throughout what seems the majority of 2011 is that i like the black and white of life and am not a huge fan of the gray areas of life. well, the Lord has a different idea and in line with mr. jackson's song...it doesn't matter if it's black or white because let's face it the black or white doesn't comprise life but the gray areas sure do. and not only must i embrace that fact but i must decide how i will proceed, live, and respond through the gray areas.

response: my usual response in the past when things seem fairly uncertain and there's not a clear cut black or white answer or action is to go with the no or to give up or just dismiss the idea. well, throughout the past 6 months or so the Lord has really done a great job of breaking me on this. at the start of this year i began reading this book about trusting God where in the beginning of the book the author states that for some believers it's easier to obey rather than trust because we obey what is certain & known and trust in what is unclear and uncertain. well i've never been the greatest at trusting the Lord because that means i then have to sit and wait and well you know, trust. what's crazy is that going into 2011 i thought i did a pretty great job of trusting the Lord when times are uncertain but oh was i wrong. i have some absolute struggles and insecurities with trusting and the Lord has done a great job of showing me my insecurities and need for control and also throwing me into situations where i can only trust HIM, not myself one lick but HIM.